Career Planning

I've recently changed jobs at my company, so I've been thinking about career goals and job objectives. Everyone knows that section at the top of the resume labeled Employeement Objective. They usually say something like, "Seeking a position where I can use my superhuman abilities to contribute to a dynamic organization's business success while making the world a better place." Here's one I came up with:

• I am looking for a job where if I get drunk while hunting and accidentally shoot someone, they apologize to me for any inconvenience they have caused me.